.

would you want me when I'm not myself? wait it out while I am someone else?

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]

once again.

the older I get, the less I know.

Wait...how old are they?

I have nothing to say.  Just watch.  I'm sure I'll have more to say later.

whyyyyyy.

So now Hilary Duff is an author.  Because she is SO qualified to "write" a book (I hope they're paying her ghost writer well).

yep. I'm eating cheesecake for breakfast.

It's April 30th and it's snowing outside.

I think I'm allowed to sit in bed and watch Arrested Development with Whitney because the world is now upside down.

second hand embarrassment.

Last winter semester I was enrolled in an LDS Marriage and Family course.  I'm not really sure why I took it, but I ended up really enjoying the teacher and the way he presented the material (it was also weird to see him on TV during general conference because he's now a part of the SS General Presidency).  However, there is one negative aspect to the class that kept me from liking the class itself.

I don't know her name, but I know her voice, the way she says things, the slow speed at which she stutters, and her constant need to sound more important and knowledgeable with the most obvious of statements.  From the first day of class, from the first time she was called upon, I despised her.  But far worse than the annoyance I felt every time she opened her mouth was my extreme need to be anywhere else, anywhere not within listening distance.  I'd flush red, would start typing away on my computer in an attempt to distract my ears and mind, and would fidget in my seat, desperate for her to just stop talking.

It got to the point that most of us in the class would actually audibly groan whenever he called on her (why he continued to do so baffled me constantly), and every once in a while she would say something so utterly ridiculous that some guy, fed up with her pointless statements, would counter her supposed doctrinal knowledge.  I'm fairly certain she lies about things, that she's one of those individuals who will stretch truth, even make up things, in order to have something to say.

It irritates me.  And I'm a mean person.  But I just can't take it.

I'd actually forgotten about this girl, until someone in my class this morning reminded me of her - constantly talking, saying silly things, going on for minutes at a time, restating our professor's opinion (albeit not as well), making the rest of us hate her for the two and a half hours we have to hear her preach her life opinions.

And then I realized something.

It's HER.

*headdesk*

life is great right now.

in other news, I totally approve of this.

Is Henry Cavill our next Bond?  Yes, Please!!

today is a good day.

Today is the day that I finish Winter semester (complete with an A on Fluhman's final - suckas), but most importantly, today is the day that Hermana Whitney "Whitspit" Tanner comes home.

I don't know if you know this, but I love her.  She's my best friend, but I also feel like she's my sister.  I live with her family, a group of amazing people who feel like another family for me, and I can't wait to spend all sorts of time with her doing all the silly things that we love.

She's always supported me in my endeavors (oh pageantry).

She's my favorite person to hang out with.  We get each other.  We're silly.  One time we went to Albertson's, craving junk food for our Tudors marathon (or was it our bad movie night?  For the record, I know Who Killed Me is the worst movie ever made.  Ever.) and we both sat in front of the cold drink aisle waiting for the other person to pick a drink.  We assumed the other person wanted something when...neither of us wanted anything.  It rocked.

When she put her papers in for her mission, she didn't tell me because she thought I'd be mad.  We'd just signed up to live in Timp Gateway together.  Yeah, she would have been a much better roommate, but how could you be mad at this face?!  {take note of her rockin' nail polish.  I've stolen all my favorite color ideas from her.}

She rocks.

She even came to my "surprise" birthday party that she told me about on the way up.  Let's just say I was mad at the whole event in general.  But she put up with my whining.  She is a good, good woman.

She loves her family.

Although, how could you not love the owner of these awesome toes?

She'll even go wake boarding in the freezing, cold lake!  {although, not without lots of protest.  IT WAS COLD}

She is freaking gorgeous.

And much more proper than I am.

I've missed this girl.  Things have been a bit rough during the last year and a half, but she was always just an e-mail away.  I am so insanely lucky to have her in my life.

Whitney has been an amazing missionary, bringing the Gospel of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints to the Ecuadorian people she came in contact with.  She also did a great job immersing herself into the culture.  {she looks so hot in the traditional garb!}

Whit was even a good sport with some of the more interesting South American cuisine. {she even bought a pig for an investigator, naming her Matilda.  RIP Matilda Tanner}.

Even when she broke her FOOT, she was still positive and cheerful.  That's commitment!

I adore her.  Welcome home, Whitney. 

You ready for a great summer?!  I know that I am!

Love you best friend.

it's why we'll never be top dog.

The only kids getting any are the married ones (at least, the only ones who ADMIT they're getting any).

And this sports writer is surprised.

just wondering.

if I'm the only person extremely bothered by the choice made by BYU's PR department in announcing Harvey's withdrawal from school ALONG with the announcement about his on-off gf?

No offense to her, but she's not the big name star that he is.  The statement about Harvey makes sense because a lot of alumni money comes from BYU football fans, however, if they wanted to make a statement about her, they probably should have waited a little while.  Instead, they chose to fuel the speculation (I'm pretty sure we're all thinking the same thing), completely embarrassing the two in the process.  The LDS church emphasizes the Atonement and forgiveness...and then the school releases the proverbial scarlet A.

Honestly?  This feels like a warning to other BYU athletes.

How ridiculous.

I'm back.

And finally, I want to reopen the flood gates of what exactly is Mormon feminism, if it's appropriate, and how to handle the whole mommy working debate that is a little too divisive.

So yes, I will finally respond to all of your comments.  It's been a long semester.

I begin with this quote from Elder Ballard.  I like the approach he's taken, mostly because it seems in congruence with how the LDS church has begun approaching more controversial topics that concern families.

The choice is different and unique for each mother and each family. Many are able to be “full-time moms,” at least during the most formative years of their children’s lives, and many others would like to be. Some may have to work part-or full-time; some may work at home; some may divide their lives into periods of home and family and work. What matters is that a mother loves her children deeply and, in keeping with the devotion she has for God and her husband, prioritizes them above all else.

I would add that this is equally applicable to men and fathers.

never thought I'd say it...

but....

thank you Hugh Hefner!

know what's cool?

I can check the weather report for when Whitney gets home.

I'm dying!

for my friends who love Lost

I'm not the fanatic some people are, but last night's episode was actually legitimately good.  Potentially the best of the series.  Desmond rocks.

problematique

Muse was good.  Why?

+Matthew Bellamy is a classical pianist.
+They're total prog rock, which I love unconditionally (that means you, Queen).
+They don't talk much.  Shut up and play is exactly right.
+They play extremely well.  A lot of hipsters are anti Muse, but I'd take Muse's growing popularity over hipster crooners who are only good in studio.  I love a band that sounds better live.
+Plug in Baby.
+Sam, Jared, Joanna, new friend Stacey, Ryan, and Emily.  Great company.
+who doesn't want to smell like cheap weed?

drawbacks:
-not enough piano.  no Chopin.  no pseudo-Rachmaninoff interlude.  Wuss.
-Jolly Green Giant in front of me who had hair like a Loreal commercial, only sweatier because you're worth it.
-it was snowing as we ran from car to venue, and then venue to car.
-no Jansen.
-No Butterflies and Hurricanes. 
-Blonde woman of questionable morals (this is for you, Whitney and Samantha) bearing a striking resemblance to the older sister of a boy I lived on the same street as in high school.  Let's just say she wanted her male companion to enjoy the song Supermassive Black Hole.  Could it be her?  After all, her look-a-like is in her thirties and I thought she was married with kids but..... After a little bit of investigation, all signs point to it actually being her, which probably makes this less of a drawback and more of an awesome find.

fun night, right?

it was.

I have fallen victim to a popular problem at BYU: lack of academic freedom.  This, along with the impending doom I have upon me in two of my classes has left me extremely disheartened this morning.  Complete it with a blistering headache and the realization that six weeks is a really long time and my concert high is gone.

modern christianity.

After pointing to the obvious yet usually overlooked reality that the "Is Mormonism Christian" question is in some sense a generic question, I suggest the following: if the member of one group of people gathered into a community that calls itself Christian are permitted to decide that a person or everyone gathered into a different community that likewise calls itself Christian is not Christian, then some pretty un-Christian defining is going on.

- Jan Shipps, Sojourner in the Promise Land

if only you were as lucky as me.

there are those times that you need to let everything go and let all of your emotions out for an entire hour.  Thankfully I've got a really amazing best friend who's willing to be on the other end of the snot-filled sniffling, even if it's four in the morning.

baby.

I'm finishing up an editorial piece I'm writing on sex-ed in Utah and the song Accidental Babies came on through my iTunes shuffle.

good work.

choices feel good.

at least a few of mine do.

I'm glad I was cuddling a newborn, eating lunch with a friend, and preparing a package for someone far away instead of stressing about first impression versus closing it off strong and paperwork.

This is blissful contentment - being able to move on comfortably.

Cheers.

sometimes.

you need a little bit of Damien Rice melancholy.  It helps me to love.