some days I wish I took my phone to the gym.

Like that day last week when I saw the girl in her teeny, tiny Juicy shorts, and lacy Juicy tank top on the elliptical. That alone is enough to deserve a smile.

But then there's the full makeup.

And the recently straightened hair.

AND THE UGGS SHE WAS WEARING ON HER FEET.

That definitely deserved the laughter that ensued.

quicksand.

I'm not really interested in playing games. I was a month ago. But now I'm over it.

Dear July 6,

Come quickly.

Love,

Me.

to whom it may concern

This idea of "pose stealing" or "pose trademarking" is well...

juvenile.

Back to you.

It's been an interesting few days. As I'm putting pieces back together and as I'm deciding the direction I want to head in over the next few months, I'm just trying to enjoy the total and complete laziness I am experiencing. It's truly lovely. But it's also given me a chance to reconnect with some old friends who have meant a lot to me in the past and who have helped to shape the person that I am. I'm always amazed by how little massive amounts of space and time affect relationships. Even more wonderful is the growth and maturity that we've experienced. Despite our differences in direction and regardless of what happened in the past, becoming friends again has been so fulfilling.

Unexpected, as well. I'm excited for it to continue as I keep rediscovering who I am.

whhaaaaat....?

Not sure how I feel about this.

Are there even 10 movies good enough to be included???

{Great, this is only going to continue Stephanie Meyer's pipe dream--remember? She thinks Twilight is Oscar worthy.}

My dad

is one cool dude. We've traveled the world together, played a lot of poker and Rook (by the way, I'm starting to beat him--not bad against a guy who can count cards), watched a lot of corny movies (Darby O'Gill and the Little People, Sean Connery's finest. Or perhaps Condorman?), and listened to the world's finest music.

Happy Father's Day.

Wish you were here.

ladies and gentleman (hi dad)

I would just like to point out a special something that happened to me this evening.

So with the crowning of Whitney Merrifield as the new Miss Utah (YAYYYYYYY!), I am now, finally, after having been 1st Runner Up three years in a row, your new Miss Utah County.

I know, I know, hold your applause.

I would also like to take this opportunity to say that I'm hoping I can genuinely win it some time in the near future.

Oh and uhhh, my girl, Allie, is the new 1st Runner Up!

Yeah, it was a fun night.

can't...stop...laughing...

So People mag does their whole Bachelor issue, right? And this year Chase Crawford is apparently the most desirable man (yeah....okay....). As I've mentioned in the past, I frequent a celebrity gossip site that is easily the best of them all and some kind soul uploaded all the scans onto a website. I was clicking on the thumb nails that had the "10 Best Chests" (no, I'm not kidding) and look what I saw on the side bar of the image hosting site:



p.s. the best photo of them all....

something I miss about competing

people's commentary. Everybody's a critic.

Remember this??




LOVE IT.

{for those who don't know, some girl who was there supporting a friend posted this on her blog after Miss Utah and it was brought to my attention. Don't worry, after reading her description of chocolate mousse on tinfoil, I don't think I've ever laughed so hard at a criticism. Naturally, I saved it to my computer!}

Miss Utah Week

And I'll be there every night, complete with my phone, and my twitter app.

If you want updates, maybe a little bit of commentary, and quick news as to who has won what, check my twitter often.

Should be a party.

the long way home.

I may be crazy, but I love this week. It's like Christmas. It's almost better than Christmas. In fact, this year, it IS better than Christmas because I don't have to do anything but sit and enjoy. The same question was asked about 8 different times, "Oohhhhh, is this hard for you to be here but not BE here?" Nope, it's not. It's quite wonderful, actually. I get a year to grow and learn and not have to stress about all the pressure. Unlike the rest of you.

Here's to a wonderful week. Good luck, friends.

Here's to a month filled with learning away from home.

And when I return, here's to coming back home, in my own special way.

Here's to time away and simply getting better with age. Lyle, you ready for this?

.

today is a day for sitting at a piano and just playing and playing and playing.

if only that beloved piano were close by.

July 1 cannot come soon enough.

WHAT?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Don't do it Chris Martin. DON'T DO IT.

{and just so we're clear, I found this via Ohnotheydidnt.  I do not surf Twilight fan sites.}

I'm not always so certain.

Clearly there have been some interesting changes in my life recently, and it's taken a lot of strength to keep the right attitude and perspective. I've felt an intense surge of confidence in myself, one that's been absent for quite some time, but every once in a while, a move is made that throws me completely off balance and I'm forced to regroup and get back onto my center.

Today is one of those days.

It solidified the reality that I now live in. I'm glad for the choices I've made, I know that they are right, but that doesn't mean the abrupt use of the delete button could go unnoticed.

A thousand of them! A thousand yellow daisies!

This makes me so sad.

This was on my list of shows to see during my month in NY, not because the reviews were great (because they weren't), but because I'm truly, completely obsessed with Lorelai Gilmore. Ummm, I mean, Lauren Graham.

my childhood dreams come true.

{a reunion would be AMAZING. I can do without Jimmy Fallon. But the greater question is this--Zack? Or AC?}

A little sliver of enlightenment.

That realization that you ARE happy. That all things have a purpose. That throwing the plan out the window and embracing this future that will just evolve over time isn't scary anymore, but instead exciting and exhilarating.

There is this new breath that I feel, it's lighter and a bit nervous with anticipation. A few weeks are needed, maybe even a few months, but I know that soon I'm going to become comfortable with myself again. I cannot wait to feel worthy again. Not worthy of anyone else, but worthy from inside myself. So much of that has been lost for a very long time and I have so much gratitude today for the blessings that I have. There are some exciting things coming up, but I need to make sure that I'm put back together to be ready for them.

Yeah.

I'm getting there.

As a good friend of mine used to tell me all the time, if we let it be, life can be absolutely amazing.



.....

and who knows.


maybe a little bit of this?

now my feet won't touch the ground.

people moving all the time inside a perfectly straight line...don't you wanna just curve away?

it's such a perfect day.

I have no words.

practicing what I preach.

I like Nietzsche. I think he's a good guy. I think he has a lot of it right. I buy into a lot of what he writes about. I totally believe that to be a better person, you need to live life dangerously, as he says.

Perhaps it's time to follow through.

yay!

This is the most excited I've been in a week, honestly! If you've seen my phone, then you know how totally thrashed it is. It's a first generation iPhone that has been through A LOT. My dad was nice enough to give it to me after using it, so let's just say it wasn't exactly mint condition. Wellllllll, apple announced new firmware, some new specs, etc, which means a new generation of iPhone!

and lookie here. pictures.

ilu steve jobs.