gracias por los Sam Edelmans

I've got a long day ahead of me with lots of people to visit and lots of food to eat, so I'm going to keep it succinct today (shocking!).

The older I get, the more cynical I become.  And I sort of hate that.  My culture has implanted this chip in me that keeps beeping because it's not been activated yet.  The "you're 24 and not married and not having babies what is wrong with you" beep of the "being the right kind of Mormon" chip.  We pretend that it doesn't exist, and everyone around me keeps insisting that I'm still so young.  And in a way they're right - but the chip is there.  It's a daily struggle to remind the chip that paths are unique and plans can change and people aren't meant to assimilate and grow at the same pace.

Last night we had a crisis at work (yes, it's just fashion, but businesses have to keep moving...) and while I was unwrapping article of clothing after article of clothing and trying to get ready for what will surely be complete madness tomorrow, I kept thinking of how strange it is to not be at home watching movies with family.

While that would be nice, I also thought of all of the things happening in my family, and with friends, and with people I don't even know, and I was humbled.  Severely humbled.

I have a job.  A really good one.  That pays well and fulfills me and allows me to grow as a human being and affords me the opportunity to interact with all sorts of individuals.  I have the job where you meet a person and two hours later you're hugging because you've become friends.

I have a car.  It's crappy at this point.  But it gets me from point a to point b, and since I'm planning to move to New York within the next two years (SURPRISE!), I'm a happy camper.

Have you ever seen my condo?  It's amazing!  Even better though are the girls inside of it.  Cassie and Chrisi have been unexpected and completely necessary blessings this year.  The truth is that I'd be really lonely and a recluse without them.

My family is unconventional, and my definition is almost assuredly different from yours.  But I've got my mom and my dad who bring such unique parenting styles to the table, and who I'm blessed to have.  My mom is a force to be reckoned with, and I wish all of you the best of luck if you run against her for office.  My dad has become famous on the second floor of Nordstrom (haven't told him this yet).  EVERYONE knows he's my dad, and they all love how often he comes to just give me a hug and say hi, but mostly they (and I) love how proud he is of me.  My brothers are so smart, and it's hard to live up to that, but they've become really great support in a way I couldn't have anticipated.  Most importantly, they married my favorite people in the world.

And why don't we talk about what makes my family so unconventional.  Like the Tanners.  My second family, as long as they'll continue to have me.  And Erika - my angel.  I risk becoming sappy when discussing what a miracle she is for me, but it is all sincere.

Finally I have faith, and I have a lot of it, and for whatever reason I've never lost it.  I was dating someone earlier this year and his family remarked on how surprised they were that I hadn't wavered in my faith because of the things that I've faced in my life.  This is my ultimate blessing and this is where I express the most gratitude.  Thank you to a loving God, who is truly a Father in Heaven who has always been there, even in the most uncertain, dark moments.  When others have been unavailable, He's been there.  It's not something I can express right now in writing - maybe someday I will find how to do such a thing - but the peace exists and I feel it daily.

I can be a snarky beast, but I know what is true - and that is that I am blessed profusely.

Thank you, readers, for visiting.  I hope you're feeling the gratitude as much as I am.  Happy Thanksgiving.

p.s. not so succinct after all.  also, no comments about the Natives in America who we basically stole food from in order to survive, but oh well.  another time!