RANT TIME

***The word feminism is rampant in this.  Either deal or move on.  I welcome your discussion and opinions.  It is NOT the F-word.***

I know you've all missed it.  Believe me, so have I.  Whoa, I haven't written a serious rant since October? {in case you missed it, here's my rant against a person who showed a serious lack of class.}

I'm stuck in a hazy world of subjunctive verb conjugations, Chinese history and art, and lots and lots of reading and writing.  I am a Humanities major and I am proud of it.  My mom gets frustrated from time to time, exclaiming, "I sent all my kids to BYU as conservatives and they came out as liberals!"  While I can't speak for my siblings, I can tell you that I am about as Moderate as they get (I like gay people but I also like keeping my money) and I have no doubt that it's come from life experience and learning.  I've learned a lot in the last few years and really feel as though I'm coming into my own as a woman and as a writer.

There's an interesting debate happening over at Natalie Hill's blog.  I like her blog a lot, she has some witty anecdotes with dating and single life in the city, and as a former performer, I love taking a peek into the life I had once desired.  While I skip her Bachelor recap posts (I've never been able to get into it--coming from a person who loves Grey's Anatomy.  Don't worry about it), I enjoy her blurbs, large and small.  She had a post about cleanliness a few months back that caused quite a stir because someone accidentally put her foot in her mouth about Natalie's life experience, but now it appears I'm the one who has spurred the controversy.  I respect a blogger's opinion--it's their blog, they can say what they want to.  I've had people disagree with me from time to time on my writings, something I think is really healthy and vital to growing as an individual.  Good discussion is important, and as Noah Feldman (he's a total fox, BTW) said at a BYU forum, if we want Mormons to be more readily accepted in US culture, we have got to start discussing these things.

{Quick note: I don't know Natalie personally and have never met her, but I was performing pals with her sister Nina way back in the day, and I adore her sister Kara who has started ballroom dancing at BYU.  I would also love her sister Nicole to photograph my wedding when I eventually marry.  It's a seriously talented family.  This is in no way an attack on any individual, her post merely reminded me that it's time to address an issue that is driving me completely bonkers.}

K.  Here goes.

The LDS church is NOT against Feminism and it is NOT a bad thing to be a feminist.  Got it?  If you doubt, I encourage you to go to the church website and search "education women", particularly writings from President Hinckley, President Eyring, and Elder Oaks.  Radical feminism (aka the visual we all get when we hear the word feminist) is not helpful feminism, and certainly not the idea I subscribe to.  Post-modern feminism, and most interestingly, African American feminism, focus on deconstructing social constructs and barriers that limit a human being's potential.  In short, the feminism I believe in is a form of feminism where men and women are not equalized, but rather they are unified.  I do not want a Patriarchal society.  I do not want a Matriarchal society.  I believe in a Priesthood society, where man and woman are one with God.

Men and women certainly have unique attributes and personalities, but to state that one attribute is predominately feminine and another is masculine grossly limits human nature.  My boyfriend, parents, friends, and even teachers will tell you that I am a shark--I know what I want, I know how to get it, I'm intense, and I am as strong and opinionated as they come.  These individuals will also tell you that I'm extremely nurturing, loving, compassionate, and a peacemaker in difficult situations.  By an archaic standard espoused not only by early Christianity, but early American politics and social constructs, I am both feminine and masculine.  I apparently defy the laws of gender roles.

Guess what?  I want to work.  I have serious desire to work.  I want to obtain at least a Masters, possibly a PhD.  I want to teach.  I want to write.  I want to make my own money.  I want to contribute financially to my family because I want my kids to have all the opportunities I had (and I want to retire early).  I want to work because it brings fulfillment and happiness to my life.

I also want to have a family and raise children.  I want to teach my children to read and write the way my mom did.  I want to teach them to play piano.  I want to drive them to their sports activities and ballet lessons.  I want to cook breakfast and dinner and pack sack lunches with silly notes.  I want to teach them to do their laundry and I want to have a family cleaning day each week.  I want to teach them Gospel principles and I want them to see that I try my hardest to be like Jesus.  I want to sew quilts and have family scripture study and most importantly, I want a loving, peaceful atmosphere in our home, conducive to harmonious learning and growth.

I was recently told in a church meeting that as a woman, I am the world's accessory.  That as a woman I should be sweet and demure, attributes that men are most attracted to.  That the world's attack on traditional family means I should be putting my efforts into preparing for homemaking.  {None of this is an exaggeration, by the way}

Nothing is said of finding your divine potential, your incredible worth as an individual.

Women have serious issues we need to overcome.  We have got to find self-actualization and ownership of ourselves.  So many problems stem from poor self-worth and self-esteem and much of the solution is to realize who we are and OWN IT.

I believe I am a Godly individual.  I am intense, strong, motivated, hard-working, passionate, aggressive, compassionate, loving, and nurturing.  To say that the first traits are not Godly not only offends me and my sex, but the entire male sex that identifies with such traits.

We have got to stop engendering personality traits.  We have got to stop forcing ourselves into a binary.  We have got to figure out how to unify.  We may never be able to leave our social construct completely, but we can at least try and improve the state of the world.