restlessness.

The feeling of restlessness is now turning into an ache.  I ache to be in a city, in an urban environment.  I ache to be around people who are constantly moving, who are using the metro or a subway to get there, and who only stop to eat but at least each meal is a great gathering.  I ache to be surrounded by strangers who do the most interesting things, even just when commuting to work.  I ache to be near the Met and the MoMA and Park Avenue.  At this point, I even ache to just be living at the upper 90s and Broadway.  I don't even care.  I just need to be able to go to work, and to go take class from Darcy Kistler after work, and to spend my days off writing in the park.  I ache to be on my own, meeting an entirely new group of people, forging my pathway independent of anyone who knew me before.

I mean it when I say ache.  My heart literally hurts for it.  I don't know how it happened, but I am an urban, city girl and my body and my mind need to be there to find the balance I'm seeking.