kick in the pants.

I've needed one.

Because I'm annoyed with the way things are right now.  I'm annoyed with how things have turned out over the last little while and it annoys me to realize that all I can do is just keep living and having faith.

It's annoying.

Especially because I can't stay a melancholy mess for too long.  It started with my little kick into gear a couple of weeks ago.  And then, because of a silly little song tonight, I want to be alive again.

I'm sick of being frustrated with the stagnation I experience here.  There's nothing I can do right now about the state in which I live, so I'm just going to embrace it and move forward and hope that I can learn a few things in preparation for moving away from this place.  And I need to remember that I love my family dearly, and someday I won't get to live in the same house with all of them, next to a perfect pool, playing with my nieces during my spare hours.

So tomorrow I'm going to try to get my large butt out of bed and to the gym and back to living.  Because holy hell I'm turning 25 this year, and even if I'm not going to meet a man here, I might as well have a rocking body just because.

But really though.  I'm not going to tell you what the song is, because it's a little embarrassing, but it reminds me how lovely my life could be.  I just need to revel in the promise of inspiration, and live with a little more hope.

Because it's going to happen.

aaaaaaand ending awkward entry.