on content.

Who do you think my audience is?  Who do I  think my audience is?  Certainly not 12-year-olds.  Certainly not high school students.  If you're here, you know me personally, or you found a link from a friend who knows me personally.  Chances are very high that you are 18 or older.  As such, I have no qualms with writing the way that I do, about what I do, and for whom I do.  Regular readers know that sometimes I use profanity.  I'm not going to justify it, so don't ask me to.  Regular readers know that I talk about things that are uncomfortable, like feminism, or sex scandals, or stupid things that stupid people do.  Regular readers know that I have no problem with watching a film that is rated R if it has artistic merit. 

I wasn't going to even respond to this, because I truly do not believe that I have any apology to make, but we talk about this consistently in my classes, so why not mention it here?

There are things that I read that might appall some of you.  The content, the language, the plot development, the choices the characters make - it's kind of messy sometimes.  There are some movies that I watch that some of you don't wish to see because of the rating.  I'm okay with that.  And I don't feel all that judged... most of the time.  And I don't feel that I need to hide my choices.

I was raised to NOT play with face cards, to NOT watch rated R movies, to NOT do anything on Sunday that didn't involve a church video.  My parents were and are good parents.  My regular viewing of material that my mom would certainly NOT approve of is not a rebellion, and it's not just to be defiant.  It's not because I want to experience the filth of the world.  It's because sometimes life is messy, just as in literature, and in my major (and therefore my life) I study things that are messy.  It's how I make sense of the world.  Any film teacher on campus will tell you that it is very difficult to find a really well made movie that is not rated R.  But an R rating does not necessarily make a film inappropriate or bad.

Finally, I want to be a film critic.  That means watching things I might not want to watch.  It also means I'll be afforded the opportunity to critique gratuitous content.  Maybe even help change the industry.

But I don't need to prove myself to any individual who asks me a question on Formspring.  I'm not mad; not even really annoyed.  It just reminds me that there are people in this world who are uncomfortable with the truth: life is, predominately, not a church film.  I study artistic representations of life.  The Formspring question referred specifically to my positive critique of Black Swan.  If you would like, I have an edited version that I made for my friends who wanted to watch it.  It's only missing about 4 minutes, but it gets rid of a lesbian sex scene (which doesn't include ANY nudity, by the way), and a couple of scenes that I felt were maybe uncomfortable.  But do I consider them necessary to the film?  Absolutely.  This film was about a person's descent into artistic madness, and included in that was her sexual understanding, so yeah... they had purpose.  Does that mean I like watching it?  No.  Does that mean I watch those scenes every time I watch the movie?  NO.  Does that mean the movie is worthless?  Does it mean I am not worthy of a temple recommend?

Absolutely not.

The person (who I am mildly convinced is my mother) asked how I reconcile my hypocrisy.  God knows my heart.  He knows my reasons.  He knows why I do what I do.  I'm an imperfect person, and I don't always make all of the right choices, but to imply that my testimony is misguided because of my choice of profession is wrong, and certainly not Christ-like.  If you don't like the movies that I watch, then don't read my reviews.  If you don't like my partaking of such inappropriate media, then we probably shouldn't be friends.  Partially because I don't like close-minded people and mostly because I don't like people who think they can cast guiltless and blameless stones.

But again, my relationship with Jesus and God is my personal, private relationship.  I'm not watching pornography.  I'm not watching people hack each other to bits.  I'm watching things that pertain to the human condition, things that push me to act to make the world a better place.  I'm trying to be like Jesus.  What are you trying to do?