Dear Autumn,

I salute you for your crisp arrival on this particular day.

clarification.

Remember that one time I denounced World of Warcraft and said it had affected my life?

I wasn't the person addicted.

That is all.

sad things all around.

All I really know to be true is that I miss Whitney in a way that cannot be adequately expressed for fear of sounding completely melodramatic.

So I will simply say that I really, really miss my best friend.

sufficiently humbled

by last year is probably an understatement. None of this silly quest business. I just wanna see some good football.

The fact that we happen to be ranked the highest we've been in 13 years is just a plus.



Text/call me if you're at the game and want to say hi!

I'M FAMOUS!!!!

So I'm currently writing a little blurb for my mama and on a whim decided to search for my first recording gig.

FOUND IT!!!

Ladies and Gents, I present to you, 7 year old (or 6--you wouldn't believe how hard it is to find the release date for this gem) Jen, along with her two lovely parents, Cherilyn and James.


Teach Me to Walk in the Light


[as a side note, I highly recommend you listen to the VERY end. You'll be able to hear me breathe in really hard because I had run out of air. Classic.]

conspiracy! conspiracy!

Over at my beloved ohnotheydidnt, a discussion has begun. Did or didn't MTV set up the Taylor Swift/Kanye extravaganza a la Bruno/Eminem?

Further evidence has been provided, by way of the glorious imdb.

aka they have the same exact agent.

Hmmmmmm. Shady business.

Whatever, Obama is still the man in this instance.

you may not like Obama.

but this is brilliant.

undisclosed desires.

If you are a long-time reader/stalker/nosy pageant person, then you know how much I adore Muse. They released a new album today, The Resistance. I'm still only on my first listen, but in a few days, I'll be prepared to write a review.

Initial impressions: They don't give a crap anymore and I LOVE it.

I'll explain that further, after I've had the chance to listen for a few days.

wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee

muse muse muse muse muse muse muse muse

BYU students know how to play.

Football, at least. And life is always exciting when you get trampled by a big group of Polynesian guys at the game. It's even more exciting when you get it on video.

politicking.

saying you're non-partisan doesn't actually MAKE you non-partisan.

I'm going to trust you a lot more if you own up to how much bias you do indeed have. it's not a bad thing. just stop pretending you're not politicking. because you are.

Happiest place on earth

No. Not disneyland. Lake Powell. I'm definitely missing Whitney and Natalie though.

But some of the marrieds are bringing down a guy for me...should be fun?

Also, my sister-in-law is going to have Quizno any day now. Please don't let it be on Labor Day!

good fake!

"this is for Elf! I wasted 2 hours of my life".

I'll always have a soft spot for Andy Roddick (and let's face it, he's partnered with the funnier Will).

dear individuals who love to pimp out their happiness and joy in facebook status.

Some of us who are having a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad, CRAPPY day don't want to keep staring at what wonderful days you're having.

annoyed,

miss ornery pants.

oligarhy

I have nothing else to say.

won't you open up your eyes.

the sun is up, the sky is blue. it's beautiful and so are you.

won't you come out to play?

I played pretend between the trees.

Things have been a bit melancholy in Jen-ville these days. Perhaps it's because I don't have an All-Sport Pass. Perhaps it's the absence of my best friend Whitney. Perhaps it's because it's been really tough to get together with my family and I miss them. Perhaps it's because a season and a chapter is finally closing and I'm reluctant to say goodbye.

New apartments are always fascinating. There are all these new idiosyncrasies. New holes in the walls (or in my case, wall in between holes), different organization and arrangement of clothing, books, or supplies, a smaller bathroom that doesn't allow for the sweet set-up you've had the last 2 years... My things are all the same, luckily I don't need to adjust to a new wardrobe or new facial products or new bedding. I still get to cuddle up to my gorgeously soft, mint green comforter every evening and I still get to punch the same pillow each night because I am never, ever truly comfortable.

But everything feels a little off. This new apartment is architecturally (side note: this is a delightful word to say) opposite from my last. The window is on the wrong side, the door opens the opposite way, the shower head is across from where it should be. Everything is organized in a slightly different fashion because things don't fit quite like they did a week and a half ago. While primping for the day in the bathroom, I keep turning behind myself, reaching for my makeup drawer, only to discover that its new home is next to my dresser in the bedroom. It's amazing how far that walk feels these days.

Even more amazing is knowing that a year from now, I won't be able to remember what it feels like to turn, walk a step, and grab my drawer and the mug containing my makeup brushes. Awakening to sun on the left side of my face will be the only way to go. The quick locking of the door with my right hand instead of my left will be second nature. I've lived in a lot of different houses throughout my short lifetime and I hate that the rooms are beginning to blend together. I try and picture the Skyview Lane second floor, with its 3 bedrooms and bathroom Scott and I used to share and all I can see is mom and dad's pink carpeted bedroom from Deacon's Way. I try to remember the two different piano rooms, but all I can see is the piano--where was it placed? Where was the couch? The window? Were the floors wooden or carpeted? I spent so many hours at that piano...you'd think I could remember what it was like to sit in there and practice the partitas and the nocturnes and the waltzes and the etudes.

I wish I could remember those pieces.

Here I sit, on the final weekend before another school year begins and all I can do is remember what things felt like and I wish that I could just forget. Everything is going to be so different and I'm scared. The summer has been the bridge from one key to the next key and I'm scared that the new key isn't going to suit my voice as well as the old one did. Even if the old one wasn't quite a perfect fit, it was comfortable and easy and felt safe. Now I face the prospect of transposing my life to fit this new key and I'm still not sure if it's supposed to be G major or A minor. Everything has been played in D flat major all summer, fun, flirty, exciting, and bright, but it's not exactly been real. It's been a band-aid, avoiding the emotional implications of a haunting melody, using a saccharine sweet tune instead. But E minor is creeping out again, reminding me of the memories and the apartment, and the friends, and the routine. Reminding me of the key that was once mine.

Now I have to get serious. I have to figure out where everything fits. I have to turn the opposite way for everything I desire. I have to remember to take my makeup drawer and mug of brushes with me into the bathroom before I jump into the shower.

And as much as I want to forget it all and let the band aid mold to my skin, I know that a year from now I'm going to look back and wonder how I ever sang in E minor. How did I ever sleep with the window on my right side? How did I ever fit everything into that bathroom? How was I ever worried about the new adjustment?

I'm not sure which prospect is scarier and I wish I could just keep playing pretend for a few more weeks.

still living.

in a new place. with new organization. and new roommates.

more to come.

happy birthday to me!

and I get to spend it driving 6 hours back to Provo!

ummm...progress?